Somewhere along the line, many of us believed the lie that happiness and fulfillment are out of our control or not attainable. Sometimes it
It’s easier for people to exist in one space, predominately the mind or the body. Those who don’t want to think about anything too much and those who are all about the physical.
When we try to separate these two inseparable parts of our being, we’re left chasing something, wondering why our thoughts, actions, and emotions aren’t aligning.
A disconnect.
We don’t feel quite right.
We are drawn to places that feel more comfortable and avoid ways of being that aren’t.
The mind-body connection is present in everything we do, and we have a lot more control over our reality than we think. Our thoughts create emotions that influence the actions we take. So if you’re not happy with your actions, consider what’s going on at square one, your thoughts.
The brain is always searching for what’s familiar. It’s an energy efficient system. If you have been living in a state of stress for years, that’s what your mind will naturally gravitate towards. It’s comfortable and normal for you, so how do you break the cycle?
Reflect on where your emotions stem from and how you act on them.
Thoughts in and of themselves aren’t negative, but they can become a part of a negative narrative when we attach meaning to them. For example, if you aren’t happy with how you’re living in midlife, ask yourself how your thoughts are holding you back from taking action.
Are you living in a state of gratitude, growth, grace, and discovery? Or are you holding onto feelings of restriction, limitation, fear, and insecurity?
What would happen if you listened to your thoughts, released them, and adjusted your actions to bring you closer to a different version of you?
Often when people struggle with their mind-body connection, they are reacting without awareness. Maybe you’re running from what’s going on in your mind, so you mentally distract yourself. You don’t feel connected with your body, so instead of giving it what it needs, you try to punish it with diets and long workouts that don’t serve you.
Our mindsets form the foundation for our thoughts and how we choose to take action. We can have mindsets about many things like our health, food, age, stress, career, self-image, moral compass, and societal expectations. Regarding Positive Aging, your mindset is a monumental pillar of reclaiming your freedom and discovery in midlife. You don’t have to tame the whole beast overnight. It’s nearly impossible to do that.
(Society doesn’t make it easy for midlife women as we are rarely seen in positions of expertise, achievement, athletisiscm, and many more avenues of life where men are normalised in those positions and don’t get me started on how appearance is judged…it’s woeful.) Agesim can be both internal as well as external.
So how to start making changes?
Imagine yourself taking one small act of micro bravery. Stepping out of your comfort zone. Maybe you think you’re too old to go to the playground and move. What if you were with a friend? What if you decided you would do it no matter what even if there were people there. Or plan to go when you know it’s likely to be just you. Once you take that first baby step, move through the discomfort of new and different and brave, you show up, perform, and accomplish.
This shifts the paradigm in your mind where you begin to think; maybe I can do more. Maybe I am the one holding myself back. Movement is emotional because it’s just as much about our mind as it is about our body. They are in a constant dance with each other every second of the day.
An excellent example of the physiological power of the mind-body connection was shown in one study from Yale University. Participants were given the same milkshake one week apart. The first week they were told it was an indulgent dessert shake, and the next week, they were told it was a healthy diet shake. In reality, they were drinking the exact same shake, but their physical response was different because their mindsets changed. Yep, mind blown!
The hormone ghrelin is connected to our hunger cues. Your ghrelin levels drop when you eat more calories, and your metabolism fires up. When people thought they were ingesting the dessert milkshake, their ghrelin levels dropped rapidly compared to the healthy shake. Their bodies reacted as if they were consuming more calories simply because they believed it. This is a monumental example of how much our mindset affects our body in ways we might need to realise.
Just because you’re good at something, doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for you. This idea goes far beyond just movement, and can be difficult to admit to yourself. Is your movement/lifestyle promoting a healthy mind, body and spirit for you to grow with joy?
Similar to your eating mindset, many people have a skewed mindset about their exercise. When I tell you that ten minutes a day is enough to build strength, sometimes your first thought is, well, that’s not possible? “No pain no gain” right? Wrong. Where are your beliefs about exercise coming from? Often, it is from something we see online, what elite athletes are doing, society, etc. Most of us are not training to be in the military and have other roles and responsibilities in life that balance other skill sets. It doesn’t mean we can’t be in great shape, have energy, get stronger and be pain free.
Studies have shown that your physical benefits increase when you mentally believe that your exercise is sufficient, effective, and good for you. This is the dance of the mind and body. When you exercise and eat in a mindset of enjoyment, indulgence, and satisfaction, this has just as much influence on your results as taking action.
Your brain is always listening to you, and your body reacts as a result. The mind-body connection can feel like this large umbrella term, but it really comes back to science. Feelings of happiness can be created because it’s a result of neuroscience, what you are feeding your brain, and how that shifts the physiological response. If you took one week to incorporate acts of micro bravery, kindness, and gratitude, I guarantee how you feel would start to change.
Another primary reason the mind is so powerful is that it impacts our motivation. If you have the mindset in midlife that your life is fixed and you can’t change, grow, get healthier, evolve as you age, this stunts your motivation to try something new because you’re holding yourself back from a growth mindset.
When you’re practicing and living in a growth mindset, there’s always space for something new in the future, you live in a place of expansion instead of restriction.
If you’re struggling with finding your footing in midlife, reflect on your thoughts and how you talk to yourself. Thoughts become things, but only if we attach to these limiting beliefs and decide they are true. You will always have moments where negative thoughts arise, but you have the power to choose to acknowledge and release them instead of believe and act on them. They are not written in stone.
Your brain is 2% of your body’s weight, but it uses 20% of your body’s blood flow. Devote ten minutes a day to moving your body, getting your blood flowing, and being present with your thoughts through that experience. You will be surprised how much progress you make towards understanding the mind-body relationship.
Being a movement coach for others reminds me of how important it is to be your own coach in life. Autonomy and self-knowledge is a powerful gift to yourself and then to those around you. Show up for yourself every day and take small steps of micro bravery toward whom you want to be and what you deserve.
Somedays, this might mean pushing yourself harder, and other days it might look like giving yourself grace. Strong Resting and taking time to be in a positive upwards cycle rather than exhausted and depleted. Most importantly, when you slow down enough to get into your body and understand your mind, you can lean into the flow. You can feel in control of your mind-body connection instead of letting it control you.
It’s always changing and to be able to change with the changes impacts our capacity for happiness.
My main advice:
Happiness, growth, and change are possible for you in midlife. Celebrate the small victories along the way, and rewire your mindsets to serve your full potential. Getting out of your comfort zone is the best thing you can do for yourself because that’s where you’ll grow, both mentally and physically. It’s all connected.
cheers x Julie